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Originally posted 25 January 2008.

April 8, 1874; Clarksville Star; Clarksville, Iowa

Why are there so Many Bald-Headed Men? Why so many bald-headed men, and so few bald women? Why is it that they shine like billiard balls? Why this spectacle of bald-headed barbers rubbing the dry tops of bald-headed men, recommending invigorators warranted to produce bushy locks in less than a fortnight, while bald-headed spectators and middle-aged men with wigs look on with derisive smiles; though all the while their wives and daughters throng our streets covered with crowns of beauty, and charming actresses toss their blonde tresses in luxurious profusion on the stages of our theaters? Our male population will no doubt take a serene satisfaction in saying that it is because men have more to worry them than women, and have the trouble of contriving how to support their wives and daughters. Probably, however, that is not the reason. Women, of course, have finer and longer hair than men, but men destroy their heads under their hats, and thus heat the tops of their craniums until the hair dies out for want of air. Men should either take off their hats oftener or ventilate them better.

There you have it.